I began a battle with Multiple Sclerosis a little over 13 years ago. I recently passed the 13th anniversary of my neurologist telling me this news. The part of my brain that was affected caused increased anxiety and depression. Since that day, I have struggled with many bouts of both. I am very good at hiding it, but I have also learned to manage it well. You will almost never overcome anxiety and/or depression alone. You need the grace and power of God, people who truly love you, and those who can guide you inside of your anxiety, fears, and depression. I cannot truly express the wonderful network God has built for me — starting with a wonderful wife, two precious girls, family, amazing friends (you know who you are), and a church family that is wonderful.

One of the greatest factors that lead people on a journey down the dark road of depression is the pain of broken relationships. This comes in many forms, but the most devastating is your closest relationships (family, friends, co-workers, confidants, etc.) In recent days, I have counseled many dealing with these things. I wrote the following in an email early this morning, and I hope it will be of some help to you or someone you know. This is not the entire email, but it gets right to the point: the people we are closest to, many times, hurt us the most…and this is perfectly acceptable inside of a proper understanding of who God is and His sovereign hand in shaping us for Kingdom work. (Think about that last statement for a moment.)

* This email was a paradigm shift for the reader, and I felt led to share it on this platform hoping to be a help to many others. The following is the final synopsis of my advice in the email to this anxious and depressed person who had been deeply hurt by a close friend. I had discussed a similar difficult situation (without names or details) that brought great pain and depression into my life and how the Lord, His Word, close relationships, and valuable counsel led me out of it and into a place of peace and victory. We pick up at this point…

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…I once read a piece of advice from a leadership expert. He said (loose quote): “Be careful who you share your dreams with…they may do what is necessary to remove you, hijack your dream, and leave you holding an empty bag of wishful thinking.”

As I sat there holding this bag, I sure wish I would have taken his advice. Then I remembered something else that he said (loose quote): “Don’t let these things define you. Find your value outside of the empty bag and embrace those who love and respect you, who desire value over results, who covet relationships over success, and who embrace a bigger picture of the world than the small-minded people who hijack the dreams of others for their own gain.”

I found great comfort in these words. And it is not because I desired success or recognition. I found comfort because the work of the Kingdom is far greater than any person, group, movement, etc. My value and identity is in Christ…nothing else!

The bottom line: God has a way of orchestrating chaos to put us where we need to be (and, many times, where we never thought we would be) for the sake of the Kingdom. It seems as if you are now in that place and moment. Think about the following: it is in these divinely orchestrated events that we discover three things (among many): 1) how amazing our God is; 2) who truly loves us and can add value to our walk with Christ; and 3) who is passionate about Christ and the gospel. Focus on these three things, and allow God to help you forgive, embrace the right people, and grow your passion for the gospel.

I can truly say that I am so thankful that God has placed these people in my life, and I rejoice in what He is doing for the Kingdom…even though, many times, the pain is almost unbearable.